Chalk One Up for the Squares
27 Apr 2012 3 Comments
in Family Stuff, Media matters, Musings
When it comes to technology, I am very old fashioned. I have a cell phone – and I use it to make and receive phone calls. If I have to I send a few text messages. I also turn off my phone when I get home from work. If someone needs to get in touch with me, they call the house phone. (It took my extended family awhile to figure this out, and some think I am a bit weird).
What is worse, westbankpapa and I are very old fashioned when it comes to our kids and cell phones. We bought them ones that can make phone calls, send texts, take pictures, and play music - but do not have internet. The end result is that when our kids want to go onto the internet, they do so from our computer, with our Internet Rimon (an Israeli internet provider that screens out nasty stuff). They also have to share the computer with the rest of the family (no laptops for us), so by nature their total time on the internet is limited (and we kick them off when they have been on for too long, even if noone else wants the computer).
As you can imagine, it has caused a bit of conflict with the teenagers, and we have been accused of being unbelievably square.
I don’t mind being called a square – it reassures me that I am doing my job as a mother. This past few days I received another sign that we made the correct decision.
We had friends over recently and they brought their teenagers. Each one had an Ipad, and throughout the afternoon they played with them. When the discussion turned to something interesting, they would join in, and they would of course answer questions politely when addressed. When the discussion was “boring”, or did not concern them personally, they would play their games and check their Facebook pages. My kids of course did not do this.
After they had left my son mentioned this behavior to me. He told me that he has a friend who drives him crazy – because he can’t stop playing with the Ipad. “I even told him once – turn off your phone, I am trying to talk to you!”
At Pesach someone gave me a copy of Jewish Action, the magazine of the OU. There was an article in there about kids who, although they are Orthodox, they keep what is called “half Shabbos”. This means that they keep most of the laws regarding the Sabbath, but they use their phones to text to friends (which is against Jewish law). I was completely shocked. I could not understand how kids could be so addicted to this little machine, that they justify breaking Shabbat. (I am not sure if it happens here in Israel).
We need to put the latest technological tools in perspective, and we have to teach our kids to do the same. Just because you have email, does not mean that you have to be connected to the computer for most of the day so that you can check it. Just because you have a cell phone, does not mean that you have to be available to anyone who wants you at all times. When you are with other people, you have to be “with” other people. There is a reason it is considered rude to answer a phone call when you are in the middle of a conversation with someone else. The only exception should be medical personnel who are on call. (During work hours there are exceptions of course).
If I am considered square for insisting on this, so be it.
Remembering High School
05 Oct 2010 3 Comments
in Family Stuff, Musings
My youngest son started high school this fall (gosh, I am old!). It got me thinking about my old high school days (very different from my kids – public high school versus religious yeshiva, America versus Israel).
You know how your kids always complain about learning (fill in the blank), and they say that they will not remember it years from now and it is a waste of time? Well I tried to think back to what I learned in high school – and I couldn’t come up with much! I remember learning the word “ethnocentric” (oh, those liberal 70′s social studies teachers!) and how that was bad. I remember a discussion in my biology class about evolution, and my teacher saying that those who did not believe in it were exhibiting hubris. (I remember thinking to myself, “lady, I am not a descendent of an ape”, and this was before I became an observant Jew.)
Although the content of what I learned all those years ago is fuzzy at best, I do remember quite well the idiosyncrasies of my teachers.
My chemistry teacher had a wonderfully cultured English accent, until she got angry. Then her southern roots showed up plainly. The boys in the class would act up on purpose just to hear it (and I don’t think she ever caught on to this…) I had an American Indian woman for a social studies teacher. She was physically tiny but commanded so much respect that she had the football players shaking in their boots. She insisted on treating us with respect, though, and used “Mr.” or “Miss” when addressing us. She said that it wasn’t fair that students had to use a title when speaking to teachers but teachers could use students’ first names – so she didn’t.
My most unpleasant teacher was my French teacher in 12th grade. I had started to be observant, so I told him in advance that I would be missing school for the Jewish holidays. He was fine with Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur, but he hit the roof when I told him about Sukkot. He called me a liar when I insisted that there really was a holiday, and when I insisted he told me to bring him a letter from my Rabbi. I did, and I made sure to make up the work and study very hard for the first test. When he saw my good grade on the exam he didn’t bother me again for the rest of the year.
My favorite was my English teacher. She had very high expectations for us and we came through for her. One morning she stormed into the classroom, yelling and screaming and announcing a lot of very strange rules for behavior in the class. She shouted down a few of the braver students who objected, and then in an instant completely changed her mood and said that the rules she just announced were cancelled. She used this excercise as a way to introduce Mutiny on the Bounty. I don’t remember much about the book, but I remember that morning very well! I took a class with her called Individualized Reading. She would assign books to you, and you would read in class, and periodically she would take students out into the hall to sit down and discuss what you read. She had me reading Thomas Mann and James Joyce (in 11th grade, mind you). This was probably my most enjoyable class in high school.
What do you remember from this time of your life?
Ken Yirbu (They Should Just Increase)
06 Sep 2010 1 Comment
in Family Stuff, Israel Update
Right before Rosh Hashana the newspapers here in Israel publicize the year’s statistics. As in previous years, the Jewish birthrate has increased (while the Arab one has decreased). There were over 50,000 new marriages too….
Last week we celebrated one niece’s wedding and another’s birth of a baby boy, so the westbankfamily has joined the growing trends…
L’Chaim!
The Perfect Fit
08 Aug 2010 2 Comments
This past Friday we took our teenage sons to do some important errands.
First, we went to exchange our gas masks. We have known that a war is coming for quite some time, but this past week, when the Lebanese army shot at IDF soldiers at the border and killed one of them, we knew that things were heating up very quickly, and the time to really prepare is now. The last time we received the masks my kids were about 7 and 8 years old. The boxes were “decorated” by them with watercolors – an exercise in the school to take away some of the fear engendered by them needing to have them in the first place.
Now both of my kids are in adult sizes. Westbankpapa, in his usually thorough way, asked each son to try on the sample masks to make sure that the size was correct (adult sizes come in youth, medium and large). Both needed medium in the end. I got a chill looking at them with the masks on – the sort of feeling that makes you want to crawl into bed and pull the covers up over your head. The last time we received the masks, I related to them as “just boxes” that I would then put on top of the closet to gather dust (which is what they did, thank G-d). Seeing my kids try them on and learn how to adjust the straps made me see them for what they were – a protection against chemical warfare.
We then went to the nearest mall to do some clothing shopping. My kids are skinny but getting taller by the minute, and they have finally reached the smallest of men’s sizes in trousers (with a good belt tightened to the last notch….). They have also reached the age where they are extremely picky about what looks good, although they do ask me my opinion also. They know that they can choose “cool” clothes but not ones that make them look “sleazy” – and they always need me to approve their t-shirts before buying one (I read them what is written in English). Slogans like “Dry wit” is ok, “free beer” isn’t!
They still need some dress shirts for Shabbat – for that they will go with westbankpapa sometime this week. Now I just need the schoolbooks…..
Digging Out From Under…
23 Jun 2010 Leave a Comment
in Family Stuff
I am still digging out from under huge piles of work – this is our busy season and I have just a few more days to go before it gets “normal” again.
My teenagers are now home and I am also digging out from under the piles of laundry and dishes that these teenagers produce (although we do have a toranut – a list of delegated chores – and they do pitch in).
Hope to write a normal post soon…
Well, That Was Scary!
06 May 2010 9 Comments
in Family Stuff
Last week my 14 year old complained of a headache in the morning, so I let him stay home from school. He later called me at work and told me that in addition to throwing up, he couldn’t see well from his right eye, and his fingers on his right hand were numb. When he started 7th grade last year he was sick a lot more than usual, and he had frequent headaches and stomach upsets. I remember thinking that he seemed to be getting a lot of weird stomach viruses, because after resting for an hour or two he would just bounce back to his normal self, including being able to eat whatever he wanted, and he never had a fever. But he never had these weird symptoms before.
Needless to say I came home immediately and took him to the doctor. She did a few minor tests with him, and asked if we had a history of migraines in the family (we don’t). She then said that given his symptoms and age, she thought that it was migraines, and she gave us a referral to a neurologist, which she wanted us to see within two weeks. She also said that if the symptoms recurred within 24 hours to go to the emergency room.
I tried every which way to get an appointment with the neurologist, but the earliest I could get was for June 7 (six week wait). Two days ago my son woke up and told me he had the same symptoms again. The rational part of me said “migraine – don’t panic” but the emotional part of me said “emergency room”. I really wanted a neurologist to see him and rule out something scary – the sooner the better. Westbankpapa took him and spent the whole day at Schneider Children’s Hospital (if you ever need to take your kid to the hospital, this is the one. Great medical care and facilities designed with children – and teenagers – in mind).
The bottom line was that their doctors also think that it is migraines, but they have recommended a series of tests to rule out some things. I of course hit both the internet and the phone lines, gathering all of the information I could on migraines. It turns out that his symptoms are not so weird after all, and from what a friend told me, the doctor’s don’t have a definite diagnosis for migraines – they first rule out a bunch of other things and are left with that.
Any advice would be appreciated. Thank G-d my son is taking everything in stride (“Ima, try to schedule the tests DURING school hours, ok?”) and he is able to deal with the pain with just Acamol (for now). But I’d love to find a really good doctor who can guide us in the future, if need be.
You Learn Something New Every Day
12 Jan 2010 Leave a Comment
After living in Israel for 18 years, my Hebrew is pretty good, but I am still learning things every day.
Last week, for instance, I finally solved a mystery that I have been wondering about for a long time. In English, we use the expression “at the last minute” to describe something done in the “nick of time”. In Hebrew, they use the expression “hadaka hatishim” – literally “the ninetieth minute”. I couldn’t understand where the ninety came from, until I watched my son play his five millionth game of computerized soccer. I happened to look at the clock, and I suddenly realized that a game goes for ninety minutes.
I know, I know, I am hopelessly “sport challenged”. Zeh ma yesh – that’s just the way it is!
Nice to Meet You
13 Nov 2009 4 Comments
This Shabbat is the annual “Shabbat Hekerut” (“Getting to Know You” Sabbath) in our yishuv. Every year, sometime after the Chagim and before the serious winter sets in, the families both host and are hosted by other families on the yishuv. A few weeks ago I sent in my page with the fifteen options of families that I wanted to get to know better (including the new ones that just moved in over the summer).
Although we have three active synagogues, on this Shabbat everybody davens together in one minyan for both Friday night and Shabbat morning (every year it gets more crowded, ken yirbu). On Motzei Shabbat there is a huge social evening, and at the end there is a video clip of the new families introducing them to everyone else.
Our yishuv started with 7 families, and now, bli ayin hara, numbers almost 200. When we came we were number 54 or 55. At that point it was possible to know everyone, and the feeling was one of family. As the yishuv grew, it became impossible to really “know” everyone, and most of us become friends with those who have kids in the same grade. Most of the newcomers have children younger than my own, so my goal at this point is to recognize faces, so that I know who to stop for when taking trempistim – hitchhikers. (I will stop for women anywhere, but I will only stop for a man if I know he lives in my yishuv).
Shabbat Hekerut is indirectly responsible for my finding my job. One year we got to know a family, and two years later they remembered me when they heard of job that might be suitable.
We decided to live on a yishuv before we even made aliyah, because of a lot of reasons. One important one was the feeling of community. Those of us who grew up “out of town” (meaning, out of the New York area) remember what it was like to be in a small but close Jewish community, and we sought that out in Israel. Living in a city, where you don’t know your neighbors, seemed very cold. This Shabbat always reinforces for me that we made the right decision.
The Simple Joys of Mechanical Appliances
02 Nov 2009 4 Comments
in Family Stuff
Our new dryer has been delivered and installed. Yesterday westbankpapa worked from home so that he could receive the dryer that we purchased about two weeks ago. He was then informed that we needed to wait for a technician to install it, otherwise we would not be eligible for the warranty.
When I heard this news I asked him to call the service people right away to make an appointment. Technicians from the major companies only come out to us in the Shomron on a rare basis, so I knew that I could possibly have a wait of up to a month. We were in luck – the service guy would be in Shomron the next day!
So today I waited at home (they said that he would be here in the morning – “up to 12:00″. He showed up at 1:30 pm.) The whole thing was a bit frustrating since all he did was to take off the packaging, attach the “exhaust hose” (what do you really call that tube where the steam comes out?) and plug the thing in. I am not a mechanically inclined person, but I COULD HAVE DONE THE SAME THING – and without missing a day of work!
Anyway, I have nice, clean, dry clothes for my children, even on a stormy day like today (G-d willing we will have many more, until the Kinneret is full).
Baruch Hashem!
Why Do They Call It A Cold?
12 Oct 2009 3 Comments
in Family Stuff
I am home today with a headcold – although I can’t figure out why they call it that. I don’t have a fever, but even so, my head is stuffy and I am going through tissues at an alarming rate. I must have picked up a virus during all of the visiting we did on Chol HaMoed.
It is much easier being sick when your kids are older – you just rest when you need to and let them fend for themselves. They even treat you nicely and do errands without complaining.
Luckily my brother gave me a bunch of books to read, so I am well stocked. He is into the science fiction/fantasy stuff, so I have been introduced to Robin Hobb. I started with her last trilogy – Soldier Son – and so far I like it.
